by Fudia Muhammad
The ultimate goal of every sensible parent is to produce children that will one day become exceptionally greater than they are, in every aspect of life – health, spiritually, mentally, financially, relationships, etc. We want to see our offspring in a continuous state of onward progression. Growing to become just like the parents is unsatisfactory and regression can be completely devastating to loving parents. One key component that seems to be absent when it comes to realizing this ultimate goal, is a lack of respect for the power of planning.
The Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad said that there were three scientific fields of knowledge that the slave master did not want the slave to ever learn: (1) the science of business, (2) the science of warfare and (3) the science of mating. Notice that we did not say: how to make money, how to shoot a gun and how to have intercourse. To know the science of something goes far beyond the surface. One who sciences something uncovers the very nature of the thing because he/she has observed, researched, tested and proven it several times over. If we know the science of something, we can master it. For the purpose of this article we will focus on the science of mating.
What is the special formula to mating that wise white folks have held in secrecy; but by the permission of God has been exposed? The science of mating covers a broad spectrum; which begins with how we are reared and educated during childhood and continues throughout courtship and marriage. God-Willing, we will cover much of this spectrum in future articles. But the one aspect of the science of mating that we tend to shy away from is the actual act of procreation – this too is scientific. Don’t worry, what follows is completely G-rated…
There are several instances in the Holy Qur’an where Allah (God) makes clear that He is continuously planning. He also declares twice in the Holy Qur’an, that He is the BEST of Planners (3:53, 8:30) – disabusing us of any thought to the contrary. One of the many Glorious names of Allah (God) is Al-Khāliq, which is most often translated to mean The Creator. But in addition to meaning, The Creator, other scholars translate it to mean, The Planner. If we are direct descendants of The Creator and Planner; then we are imbued with His essence and should manifest His attributes. The fact that Allah (God) plans is an indication that we, too, should plan – understanding that we will never become the Best of Planners. However, we do have the potential to become exceptional at planning. Is there any greater aspect of our lives that should be planned-out with thoughtful consideration and detail, than the moment we decide to procreate?
Allah (God) created the act of sex for the divine purpose of procreation, not recreation. Let’s rewind…The number one purpose of sex is to reproduce! We are not saying that we only have sex for that purpose, but the fact that Allah (God) made sex pleasurable is a sweet bonus that helps keep the marriage vibrant and passionate. To be clear, sexual intercourse outside of the sanctity of marriage is misuse and abuse of this most profound and sacred act. The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan stated, “These (sexual) pleasure centers in the human being, used properly in accord with the Will of Allah (God), brings comfort, ease, consolation, rest, reward and joy to the souls that are working hard to fulfill their divine duty and obligation.” If sex comes before natural love has been established and sanctioned by marriage, then that becomes the base of our relationship. A relationship founded on physical desires will be short-lived.
The hard truth is that most of us were conceived accidentally, not planned. Our parents most likely did not say to each other, ‘Sweetheart, let’s try to conceive a baby tonight.’ We were likely the product of a lustful encounter. Many of us may even have been the product of a one-night stand – our mother hardly knowing the man; or the unthinkable, a product of rape of incest. With proper planning, current and future generations can break this destructive cycle. It’s imperative that we learn the science of mating. What goes on while something is being fashioned becomes a part of the nature of the thing.
It is recommended that couples wait two to three years after getting married to begin having children. Couples should use this time to strengthen their bond and commitment to God and to each other. But also, during this time, women must study their bodies. Unlike the man who is constantly producing sperm; women a born with all of the eggs they will ever have. Maintaining a healthy and regular diet, exercise routine and lifestyle increases the ability of a woman to know, with precision, her fertile days (when she is ovulating). This information is necessary in order to plan the very moment that intimacy with her husband will lead to conception. Spontaneity certainly has its rewards and benefits, but it must be temporarily deferred when the intention is to procreate.
We close with these words from the Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan, “Plan the very minute you want to conceive. Conceive at dawn as the sun is rising in the east and you are both well rested and full of energy from a night of sleep. Do not conceive in the middle of the night or before bed when both of you are tired and sleepy. Be sure that you are prayerful at this moment repeating the attributes of Allah…Bismillahir Rahman nir-Raheem (In the Name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful). Lay down with your husband/wife in the Name of Allah. The woman lies prone looking to the heavens and the man is looking to the earth. You become one, head to head and chest to chest, not filled with lust and passion alone, but filled with the spirit of God. Have Allah on your mind, woman, and the type of child you wish to conceive.”
(Sister Fudia Muhammad is a member of Muhammad Mosque No. 64 in Austin, Texas. She is married to Student Minister Robert L. Muhammad and they have been blessed with four children. Sister Fudia holds a Master’s degree in Education – she is a writer, an educator and an advocate for God-centered child-rearing.)