Estimated reading time: 8 minute(s)
Originally published 6.9.10
The word “became” is the past participle of the word “become” which means “to come, change, or grow to be; to come into being.”
When I was approached by Hurt 2 Healing magazine’s publisher Ebony Muhammad to be the cover feature for the June edition, I honestly hesitated. With all of the accolades I receive, I strive not to get carried away with myself because I ultimately know who the Giver of gifts is. I strive to re-route the praise to Him.
I eventually accepted, though she could tell you that I was still trying to squeeze out of it in May by suggesting other great men I felt were more worthy than myself. I went forward with it because the title of the interview is bigger than “Brother Jesse”…it is about addressing a generational issue that’s haunting our community.
That issue is the absence of biological fathers in the lives of their children.
Last year, with my mother’s permission, I embarked upon a journey to find out the truth of who my biological father is as a birthday gift to myself and my mother. Little did I know it would turn into a journey that would become a gift to thousands around the world who followed my every move until the day I found out that the deceased Joe McCray is my biological father.
I have been very silent the last several months about it all, because truthfully I lost a little momentum from the DNA results. Instead of immediately going on the search for family members in the biological tree of my father, I went into reflection, immobilization and even depression over it all. However, this interview with Hurt 2 Healing magazine has reinvigorated my spirit to begin the next phase.
Thank you to Sister Ebony for the opportunity. I opened this blog with the definition of the word “become” to say that Allah (God) is not finished with me yet as I strive to attain a higher level of manhood on a daily basis. I am still becoming a manâ€¦..
Here is a sneak preview from the interview:
H2H:From that day to 2009, how often did you think about finally finding out which one was your biological father?
JM: I would say, honestly, not a month went by where it didnâ€™t cross my mind. It would be one of those situations where I would be driving down the street, or Iâ€™d be watching a particular movie and seeing a father and son uniting. I remember, and this is how I could tell that I wasn’t emotionally healed, watching an episode of the Fresh Prince of Bel-air. His father came back into his life, and Will bought that gift for him and they went to the park, you know. Then he just skipped out on him and made up some excuse, and I remember I cried watching that episode. I used to watch it a lot. It stopped me from wanting to go see movies like that. I would ask myself why was I crying, but I realized thatâ€™s what it was. I just learned to cope with it; act like it didn’t exist, and just keep going.