Estimated reading time: 20 minute(s)
by Fudia Muhammad
In this age of gender-neutrality and an all-out rejection of gender-specific clothes, toys, sports, roles and bathrooms; we offer a reality check. Boys and girls are not somewhat different; they are COMPLETELY different! And there is nothing wrong with that; it was designed this way by the Best Knower, God Himself. The Holy Qur’an reads, “The male is not like the female.” Our deliberate rebellion against the nature in which God created the male and the female puts us in line for a divine whipping from Him. Today, there are no grey areas, God’s Way is clearly distinct from error, Satan’s way.
The title of this article, “Rearing Our Girls is a Chore,” should not be misinterpreted as harsh, chauvinistic or misogynistic. To state the obvious, the author of this article is a woman; she was born of a woman; LOVES Black women; and is rearing a beautiful daughter. This title actually comes from the Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan, who spoke these words to my husband during a dinner conversation – others were present who can bear witness. But before anyone gets upset with the Minister, let’s delve into what he meant and why as parents we should approach rearing our girls with this divine insight.
Colloquially, the word “chore” has a negative connotation. But a chore is work that needs to be done regularly. Yes, this work is often difficult. It can be described as an assignment, a duty, job or a task. We can agree that the world in which we are rearing our girls is not one that respects, elevates and values the female as Allah (God) intended. This world constantly preys upon women and girls, physically and mentally. She is objectified, harassed, abused and discarded. If we approach the rearing of our girls as if this is not the reality, we will lose. As parents, we must be vigilant protectors of our girls – both mind and body, at all times. Rearing our girls is indeed a chore – it’s constant and quite difficult. One blink could lead to being completely blindsided.
The Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad teaches us that, “A Nation can rise no higher than its woman.” To the degree that the woman is reformed, refined, cultivated, civilized and educated in the Way of Allah (God) is to the same degree that the Nation will reflect this way of life. It will be directly proportional; no more, no less. So the Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad said that 75 percent of his work of reform was with the Black woman, the Mother of Civilization. Seventy-five percent of the work must be with her because this is where 75 percent of the problem is found. Solve the problem of reforming the Black woman and you solve the problem of restoring a people to once again reflect the Glory of God, resulting in a superior Nation. This obligates anyone who has any role or duty whatsoever that involves rearing, educating or handling our girls in anyway to be painstakingly attentive, cautious and righteous in our methodology.
Master Fard Muhammad said, “the hardest job ever given to any human being” is the job of resurrecting the so-called American Negro. We can all debate as to what the second hardest job is; but somewhere high up on the list has to be, rearing our girls in a world where perverse behavior is in vogue. Regardless of how much the enemy tries to make evil fair-seeming, wise parents must resist and choose to rear their children in the nature in which they were created. This contrary way of life will not remain forever because truth is always confirmed. The enemy clearly warns us in the Holy Qur’an, “And the devil will say, when the matter is decided: Surely Allah promised you a promise of truth, and I promised you, then failed you. And I had no authority over you, except that I called you and you obeyed me; so blame me not but blame yourselves. I cannot come to your help, nor can you come to my help. I deny your associating me with Allah before. Surely for the unjust is a painful chastisement” (14:22).
We cannot undertake the rearing of our boys and girls in the exact same manner because they are not the same. In her book, Queen of the Planet Earth: The Rebirth and Rise of the Original Woman, Minister Ava Muhammad writes, “When a woman or man does not manifest feminine or masculine traits, it is the result of environment and experience, not nature. What we are looking at is the nature of things; that which Allah (God) intended.”
A distinctive quality in the nature of the female is to be pleasing to Allah (God). This is why we also find in her nature a desire to equal herself up to man; up to God. Not because she wants to challenge God, but because she desires to be just like Him. Therefore, girls naturally seek to please the male figures in their lives who are exercising a degree of force and power (their godhood). Women and girls naturally gravitate to powerful men. This can be dangerous because most who manifest power in this world are unrighteous. Those unrighteous men take advantage of the nature of the female by showing their approval of her only in terms of her physical adornments. The vast amount of so-called “compliments” given to girls are based solely on her appearance. This poses a serious challenge for parents because it is baked into the nature of the female to be beautiful. In her book, Naturally Beautiful, Minister Ava Muhammad writes, “Understand that our primary goal as women is to be beautiful…The desire to be beautiful is innate; it was programmed into our DNA by the First God Who Created Himself in and from the triple darkness of space.”
Herein lies the great chore in rearing our girls. If found in her nature, given to her by Allah (God) Himself, is a primary goal to be beautiful; then how does she know that she has attained that goal if someone does not declare her to be beautiful. Subconsciously she is always seeking this confirmation. It is critical that this declaration initially comes from her father and the righteous men in her life or she will seek it elsewhere. It is also important that this affirmation not be one fleeting moment in time. She must be consistently reassured since she is simultaneously being bombarded with the warped standard of beauty set by the narrow lens of the enemy. Their definition of beauty is distorted and unnatural. Girls study their fathers and the men around them, to see what pleases them. If parents, particularly fathers of daughters, buy into this world’s ideal beauty – the scantily clad temptress; our daughters will seek to become that, thinking they are pleasing their father and indirectly pleasing God.
Naturally, girls also have a stronger need to be accepted because they are innately more communal than boys, who are more individualistic. This means parents must be ever vigilant about how their girls go about trying to be acceptable in the eyes of their peers and society in general. Yes, there is a double standard in this world that puts the burden on women. We need to know it and accept it. The standard for women is higher, as it should be since we can birth a Nation of gods through our wombs.
The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan described the value of our precious daughters as immeasurable and limitless. When we look at them, we too have to see that same quality; so we will never be tempted to forsake the difficulty factor attached to rearing our girls and preserving their virtue.
(Sister Fudia Muhammad is a member of Muhammad Mosque No. 64 in Austin, Texas. She is married to Student Minister Robert L. Muhammad and they have been blessed with four children. Sister Fudia holds a Master’s degree in Education – she is a writer, an educator and an advocate for God-centered child-rearing.)